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unfashions for unfluencers

Every purchase now features unfree shipping*

We all know free shipping doesn’t really exist—someone always pays for it—so we don’t try to blow smoke up your ass by saying we offer free shipping. Fact is, we feature the latest thing.

Unfree shipping.

To find out more about unfree shipping, there is a link in the footer of this page that will explain it in detail and expose the pernicious personal perils inherent in the concept of free shipping. You will never think about shipping the same again.

Your pen pal,
Repar T

And the answer is

Most of the time, answers are disappointing, especially when compared to questions. But not these. Not only are these answers exciting, they're also essential knowledge that isn't taught in schools. They're blindingly obvious once you really understand them, but eternally elusive until then. When your chest is feeling wise, give it one of these to wear. Then, just keep your mouth shut. That's all there is to it.


Your pen pal,

Repar T

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