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unfashions for unfluencers

Every purchase now features unfree shipping*

We all know free shipping doesn’t really exist—someone always pays for it—so we don’t try to blow smoke up your ass by saying we offer free shipping. Fact is, we feature the latest thing.

Unfree shipping.

To find out more about unfree shipping, there is a link in the footer of this page that will explain it in detail and expose the pernicious personal perils inherent in the concept of free shipping. You will never think about shipping the same again.

Your pen pal,
Repar T

take this job and shove it

It's not that you're afraid of work, even hard work. You just don't enjoy working for clueless idiots and counting on oblivious assholes. From now on, there is no need to mutter under your breath as you're walking away from your latest confrontation with your dipshit boss or your stupid co-workers. This is as good as it gets. You can always have the last word without saying it. Let your chest do the talkin' as you smile and walk away.


Your pen pal,

Repar T

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